Thursday, April 23, 2009
Upcoming Topics
Ninjas and Pirates; funny commercials and the employment of the correct car for a character in movies, does your car make you a tool.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Someone please tell my WHY
Why Why Why do these little boys, by little I mean 16-18 year old boys, think the Volkswagen's are the COOLEST things that have ever been created?? No, not so much. There are two camps of Volkswagen drivers and one subset group. (Genny just hear me out here...)
The first set is the aforementioned 'little boys' that think that VW's are the total shit!! And as I may have mentioned before, not really. These boys do some crazy things to their new rabbits, and jettas such as big fat tires and spoilers on the rear of the car and skinny tires on the front of the car. I'll get to the fart cannons next. OK, lets think about this, fat tires and spoilers on the rear indicate that there is some kind of traction on the rear of the car. No, these are front wheel drive cars, so having these extra wide tires on the rear makes NO sense. Smaller tires on the front make even less sense. More traction to the drive tires makes for better take off, handling and grip in general. So if you want to look like Johnny the race car driver, put fat tires in the front. Then they like to lower these cars, but not by performance packages, no, they like to heat the springs to make them closer to the ground. This makes the ride incredibly stiff and doesn't really increase the performance of the vehicle.
What about these exhaust tips and aftermarket exhausts?? An aftermarket exhaust is suppose to add to thee performance of the vehicle by increasing the airflow out. The more air out, the more air in. However, if the owner did not enhance the intake, the outflow becomes almost irrelevant. Nonetheless, these these cannons on the exhaust are stupid and do not add to any performance lever of the car. They just make the car sound different, not even better. Not to mention that they are incredibly annoying.
These 'performance enhancements' that are really not enhancing anything, they are strictly cosmetic to make people think that they are big shot street racers. Pl-eeaassee!
So they are the first group. The second group of VW drivers are the people who are a little older, maybe 35 - 55 and have the money to buy a new or off lease VW that's in good shape. But the general definition of this group of people are that they are idealistic and think that their VW is the best thing on the planet. Generally these people will tend to own a MAC instead of a PC, they possibly waited in line when the new iPhone was unveiled to the public. They may wear organic shoes and generally love the fact that they are vegetarians or vegans. They decided to not buy a hybrid vehicle, not because they don't think they are great (Honda or Toyota ONLY), but because they had to order one. That would take to long to wait for it to come it. They would never consider a Ford of GM vehicle because they are way too common and anyone can drive them, hell, they practically give them away, right??
The the subset of both of these groups are the people who like the VW's and after buying one, they realize that they are incredibly expensive to fix. So they buy a VW and then it breaks and they realize that they have to keep it. So they drive it and when they pay it off, they sell it to the first willing sucker who will give them the Kelly Blue Book Private Party - Poor Condition price for it. Maybe the seller will throw in a half used set of snow tires and call it a deal! The seller just wants it out of their driveway, thank you very much!
One last thing then I'm done with my, ahem - observations...
In order to drive a new Corvette, the driver generally - 85% of the time, has to have three of the following traits. 60% of the time, you'll find that they have at least two of the following traits. 1. Bald(ing) 2. Old(er) 55+ 3. Facial Hair (generally a mustache) 4. Paunchy (generally doughy) 5. Driving like a total asshole. Now, there are exceptions to every rule, however, you can use this formula all you want, you'll find that it's pretty right -on... But what if the driver is a woman?? Generally she will not be any of these... She'll be ether totally high maintenance (You know and I know that a high maintenance woman is easily identifiable), or she's driving her present to herself for whatever milestone she decided that she'll buy a 'vette. All I've got to say about the latter is "Work it out Girl, you probably deserve it!!"
And something that I haven't mentioned at all; Drifting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM5wVKYZVDM
Then this guy. The man does some serious WORK!
http://video.kenblockracing.com/flash/player/
After you watch this video, YOU'LL be out of breath!
Thanks for reading and safe driving!
The first set is the aforementioned 'little boys' that think that VW's are the total shit!! And as I may have mentioned before, not really. These boys do some crazy things to their new rabbits, and jettas such as big fat tires and spoilers on the rear of the car and skinny tires on the front of the car. I'll get to the fart cannons next. OK, lets think about this, fat tires and spoilers on the rear indicate that there is some kind of traction on the rear of the car. No, these are front wheel drive cars, so having these extra wide tires on the rear makes NO sense. Smaller tires on the front make even less sense. More traction to the drive tires makes for better take off, handling and grip in general. So if you want to look like Johnny the race car driver, put fat tires in the front. Then they like to lower these cars, but not by performance packages, no, they like to heat the springs to make them closer to the ground. This makes the ride incredibly stiff and doesn't really increase the performance of the vehicle.
What about these exhaust tips and aftermarket exhausts?? An aftermarket exhaust is suppose to add to thee performance of the vehicle by increasing the airflow out. The more air out, the more air in. However, if the owner did not enhance the intake, the outflow becomes almost irrelevant. Nonetheless, these these cannons on the exhaust are stupid and do not add to any performance lever of the car. They just make the car sound different, not even better. Not to mention that they are incredibly annoying.
These 'performance enhancements' that are really not enhancing anything, they are strictly cosmetic to make people think that they are big shot street racers. Pl-eeaassee!
So they are the first group. The second group of VW drivers are the people who are a little older, maybe 35 - 55 and have the money to buy a new or off lease VW that's in good shape. But the general definition of this group of people are that they are idealistic and think that their VW is the best thing on the planet. Generally these people will tend to own a MAC instead of a PC, they possibly waited in line when the new iPhone was unveiled to the public. They may wear organic shoes and generally love the fact that they are vegetarians or vegans. They decided to not buy a hybrid vehicle, not because they don't think they are great (Honda or Toyota ONLY), but because they had to order one. That would take to long to wait for it to come it. They would never consider a Ford of GM vehicle because they are way too common and anyone can drive them, hell, they practically give them away, right??
The the subset of both of these groups are the people who like the VW's and after buying one, they realize that they are incredibly expensive to fix. So they buy a VW and then it breaks and they realize that they have to keep it. So they drive it and when they pay it off, they sell it to the first willing sucker who will give them the Kelly Blue Book Private Party - Poor Condition price for it. Maybe the seller will throw in a half used set of snow tires and call it a deal! The seller just wants it out of their driveway, thank you very much!
One last thing then I'm done with my, ahem - observations...
In order to drive a new Corvette, the driver generally - 85% of the time, has to have three of the following traits. 60% of the time, you'll find that they have at least two of the following traits. 1. Bald(ing) 2. Old(er) 55+ 3. Facial Hair (generally a mustache) 4. Paunchy (generally doughy) 5. Driving like a total asshole. Now, there are exceptions to every rule, however, you can use this formula all you want, you'll find that it's pretty right -on... But what if the driver is a woman?? Generally she will not be any of these... She'll be ether totally high maintenance (You know and I know that a high maintenance woman is easily identifiable), or she's driving her present to herself for whatever milestone she decided that she'll buy a 'vette. All I've got to say about the latter is "Work it out Girl, you probably deserve it!!"
And something that I haven't mentioned at all; Drifting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM5wVKYZVDM
Then this guy. The man does some serious WORK!
http://video.kenblockracing.com/flash/player/
After you watch this video, YOU'LL be out of breath!
Thanks for reading and safe driving!
Friday, April 17, 2009
#1
So here I am, writing a blog about my Mustang. I never thought that I would but here I am. There are a number of reasons that I want to write about my car; well I want to do more than just write about my car. I plan on talking about cars in general and how much we, as Americans, enjoy our cars. There are, of course, emotions that revolve around cars and sometimes those emotions are much more dramatic than that of the vehicle.
Something that may have triggered my thought process to want to do this was last night we were watching BBC America (more later on how much I LOVE that channel) and there was a BBC America Reveals: My Car is My Lover. We were awe struck at the two men who were being profiled. The first guy was, I think from San Francisco and drove a white mid 70's Volkswagen Bug whom he named 'Vanilla'. The man was in love with this car (emphasis on in love). Whenever he parked the car somewhere and got out, he kissed the car numerous times and told 'her' that he loved her. Ummm, yeah. Then there was the other guy, who was younger, maybe early to mid-20's had a 1990 Firebird with a lazy headlight - it shone on the ground directly in front of the bumper, no interior headliner and a faded paint job. He called it 'Todd' and referred to it as such. They both spoke about having 'sex' with their cars and the guy who owned Vanilla, went to far as to masturbate on the Firebird, aka Todd during the night after these 'mechaphiles' actually met.
The funniest thing about these guys was when they went to a car rally. There were all kinds of makes and models - everything from modified vehicles to run of the mill, plain old units. The owner of Vanilla was so aroused that he was touching himself and had a visible boner in his pants! I mean it was so bad for him that he was bending down, fingering the tail pipes and then smelling his fingers. I nearly died when I saw him do that. Then he was kissing and caressing the cars. I mean it was really weird!
The other guy, the mechaphile with Todd, was a bit more realistic about his obsession. He was aware that what he thought was strange and that he was apprehensive to talk about it, but he still spoke about wanting to 'rape' Todd the car. But he did mention the emotion of connecting with the car and really loving the car. But the sex part is a little strange. http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/366/index.jsp
This whole thing is really off the charts for someone who doesn't care about cars and just thinks that they are transportation. I agree that they are made to get you from one place to another, but on a different plane, they do exude an aura and a feeling. They do have emotion, the emotion that the owner gives them. The emotion of power, styling, grace, safety and comfort.
Take, for example, an article I saw on MSN today How to look cool driving a Mini Van. First off that's totally impossible. There is NO WAY anyone can look cool driving a minivan. I don't care if you are the hottest man or woman in show business, there is not a flaming chance that you will be cool. Ok, my point is that the car makes the driver have emotion and that emotion is transferred to the car... Make sense? Kind of, I suppose. Can you look freekin awesome driving a Mustang? Yes, but if you pull asshole stunts on the drivers around you, then you look like a flaming turd and decidedly unattractive!
One last thing about the emotion of the car. On BBC America's Top Gear, the best freekin show on TV, the hosts have the 'Wall of Cool' where the three hosts decide if a car is cool or not. There are four areas where a car can be and the worst place to be is in the Sub-zero because you are a true tool for driving that car.
http://www.topgear.com/us/
Check the site and you will understand.
Thanks for reading!
Something that may have triggered my thought process to want to do this was last night we were watching BBC America (more later on how much I LOVE that channel) and there was a BBC America Reveals: My Car is My Lover. We were awe struck at the two men who were being profiled. The first guy was, I think from San Francisco and drove a white mid 70's Volkswagen Bug whom he named 'Vanilla'. The man was in love with this car (emphasis on in love). Whenever he parked the car somewhere and got out, he kissed the car numerous times and told 'her' that he loved her. Ummm, yeah. Then there was the other guy, who was younger, maybe early to mid-20's had a 1990 Firebird with a lazy headlight - it shone on the ground directly in front of the bumper, no interior headliner and a faded paint job. He called it 'Todd' and referred to it as such. They both spoke about having 'sex' with their cars and the guy who owned Vanilla, went to far as to masturbate on the Firebird, aka Todd during the night after these 'mechaphiles' actually met.
The funniest thing about these guys was when they went to a car rally. There were all kinds of makes and models - everything from modified vehicles to run of the mill, plain old units. The owner of Vanilla was so aroused that he was touching himself and had a visible boner in his pants! I mean it was so bad for him that he was bending down, fingering the tail pipes and then smelling his fingers. I nearly died when I saw him do that. Then he was kissing and caressing the cars. I mean it was really weird!
The other guy, the mechaphile with Todd, was a bit more realistic about his obsession. He was aware that what he thought was strange and that he was apprehensive to talk about it, but he still spoke about wanting to 'rape' Todd the car. But he did mention the emotion of connecting with the car and really loving the car. But the sex part is a little strange. http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/366/index.jsp
This whole thing is really off the charts for someone who doesn't care about cars and just thinks that they are transportation. I agree that they are made to get you from one place to another, but on a different plane, they do exude an aura and a feeling. They do have emotion, the emotion that the owner gives them. The emotion of power, styling, grace, safety and comfort.
Take, for example, an article I saw on MSN today How to look cool driving a Mini Van. First off that's totally impossible. There is NO WAY anyone can look cool driving a minivan. I don't care if you are the hottest man or woman in show business, there is not a flaming chance that you will be cool. Ok, my point is that the car makes the driver have emotion and that emotion is transferred to the car... Make sense? Kind of, I suppose. Can you look freekin awesome driving a Mustang? Yes, but if you pull asshole stunts on the drivers around you, then you look like a flaming turd and decidedly unattractive!
One last thing about the emotion of the car. On BBC America's Top Gear, the best freekin show on TV, the hosts have the 'Wall of Cool' where the three hosts decide if a car is cool or not. There are four areas where a car can be and the worst place to be is in the Sub-zero because you are a true tool for driving that car.
http://www.topgear.com/us/
Check the site and you will understand.
Thanks for reading!
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